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Don't think these have been posted here yet:
Q: What's the last thing a pilot's wife does before
sex?
A: Drops her husband off at the airport.
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A woman calls 911 to report a naked pilot on her
front lawn. The 911 operator says to the woman, "OK, I understand there's
a naked MAN on your lawn, but if he's naked, how do you
know he's a pilot?" The woman answers, "Well, he's wearing
a big watch, has a little dick, and he's trying to steal my USA Today..."
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Q: What's the difference between a pilot and a pig?
A: Pigs don't start to behave like pilots at a party!
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Q: Heard about the airline captain who died 5 days
after retirement?
A: His wife forgot to feed him every hour!
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Q: How do you know there's an airline pilot at your
dinner party?
A: He'll be the one putting his plate on the floor
after he's finished.
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Q: How do you know there's an airline captain at a
party?
A: He'll tell you!
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Q: Do you know why flight attendants wear panties?
A: To keep the flies off the crew meals!
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Q: What do flight attendants and stage coach drivers
have in common?
A: They both work behind two horses' asses.
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Q: What's a flight attendant's mating call?
A: I'M DRUNK!
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Q: What's a slutty flight attendant's mating call?
A: HEY! I SAID I AM DRUNK!
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Q: What's the difference between God and a pilot?
A: God doesn't think he's a pilot.
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Q: What's the difference between a condom and a
cockpit?
A: You can only get one dick in a condom!
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Q: Want to know why they grounded Southwest Airlines?
A: They found big ugly cracks in some of the Flight Attendants.
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Q: What do you call a pregnant Flight Attendant?
A: Pilot Error.
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Q: How do you recognize a Flight Attendant at a
party?
A: They are the only ones eating standing up and
cleaning their hands with the curtains.
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Q: What separates Flight Attendants from the scum of
the world?
A: The Cockpit door.
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Q: An airhead Flight Attendant, a smart Flight
Attendant and Santa Claus jumped off the airplane
after they lost both engines. Who made the largest splash?
A: The airhead Flight Attendant. The others don't
exist!
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Q: What's the difference between a flight attendant
and a 727 engine?
A: The 727 engine stops whining after landing..
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Q: What do you call a bunch of pilots in a basement?
A: A Whine Cellar!
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Q: How do you make a flight attendant cum with one
finger?
A: Press the flight attendant call button.
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Q: What do Flight Attendants and Monica Lewinsky have
in common?
A: They all have a blue dress with stains on it.
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Q: What's the difference between a Flight Attendant
and a Mercedes?
A: Not everyone has been in a Mercedes.
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Q: How many flight attendants does it take to screw
in a lightbulb?
A: 100. One to actually do it and 99 to bitch about it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How does a flight attendant tell a passenger to go
to hell?
A: I'll be right back!
Q: What's the last thing a pilot's wife does before
sex?
A: Drops her husband off at the airport.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\
-----
A woman calls 911 to report a naked pilot on her
front lawn. The 911 operator says to the woman, "OK, I understand there's
a naked MAN on your lawn, but if he's naked, how do you
know he's a pilot?" The woman answers, "Well, he's wearing
a big watch, has a little dick, and he's trying to steal my USA Today..."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\
------
Q: What's the difference between a pilot and a pig?
A: Pigs don't start to behave like pilots at a party!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------\
------
Q: Heard about the airline captain who died 5 days
after retirement?
A: His wife forgot to feed him every hour!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know there's an airline pilot at your
dinner party?
A: He'll be the one putting his plate on the floor
after he's finished.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know there's an airline captain at a
party?
A: He'll tell you!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Do you know why flight attendants wear panties?
A: To keep the flies off the crew meals!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do flight attendants and stage coach drivers
have in common?
A: They both work behind two horses' asses.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's a flight attendant's mating call?
A: I'M DRUNK!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's a slutty flight attendant's mating call?
A: HEY! I SAID I AM DRUNK!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between God and a pilot?
A: God doesn't think he's a pilot.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between a condom and a
cockpit?
A: You can only get one dick in a condom!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Want to know why they grounded Southwest Airlines?
A: They found big ugly cracks in some of the Flight Attendants.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a pregnant Flight Attendant?
A: Pilot Error.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you recognize a Flight Attendant at a
party?
A: They are the only ones eating standing up and
cleaning their hands with the curtains.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What separates Flight Attendants from the scum of
the world?
A: The Cockpit door.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: An airhead Flight Attendant, a smart Flight
Attendant and Santa Claus jumped off the airplane
after they lost both engines. Who made the largest splash?
A: The airhead Flight Attendant. The others don't
exist!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between a flight attendant
and a 727 engine?
A: The 727 engine stops whining after landing..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a bunch of pilots in a basement?
A: A Whine Cellar!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you make a flight attendant cum with one
finger?
A: Press the flight attendant call button.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do Flight Attendants and Monica Lewinsky have
in common?
A: They all have a blue dress with stains on it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between a Flight Attendant
and a Mercedes?
A: Not everyone has been in a Mercedes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many flight attendants does it take to screw
in a lightbulb?
A: 100. One to actually do it and 99 to bitch about it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How does a flight attendant tell a passenger to go
to hell?
A: I'll be right back!
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